Pacardia
The Kingdom of Pacardia (IPA: /pækɑɚdiə/ (stressed), /pəkɑɚdiə/ (unstressed), Dutch: Koninkrijk Pacardië, Chathan: Koningrejk Pakardjen, Pacardian: Reimu do Pacardja, Dromance: Congorico va Pacardio, Portuguese: Reino da Pacardia, Greek: Βασίλειο της Πακαρδία Basileio tis Pakarðia, Esperanto: Reĝlanda Pakardio) is a tropical island nation situated between the Caribbean and Africa. A parliamentary republic and constitutional monarchy, the kingdom is under the rule of the House of Pacard, a royal family with mainly British, Dutch, and Jamaican roots. The current monarch is HRE King Patrick Pacard Once uninhabited, the island was discovered and settled in the late 1700s by a number of European, Caribbean, and Pacific peoples who established cities, which became the nine city-states that united as the Kingdom of Pacardia in 1840. History First Settlers & Founding of Jamsterdam Dutch and Jamaican peoples landed around the same shores of an island that was then populated only by animals. Together, they built a city influenced by Amsterdam and its canals, but in a warm and tropical setting. They called it Jamsterdam, a portmantoau of Jamaica and Amsterdam. Western Migration, Masyaf, Sheoth, & Garvey Islands People of Jamsterdam, especially the Dutch, moved westward to a land of vibrant colors giant mushrooms. Here, the City of Sheoth was founded. South of Jamsterdam, the Portuguese settled in what would become Masyaf. They, along with other Latin peoples, were first to land of the shores of the Garvey Islands. Dawngate & Whytecliffe The Dutch, along Germans, Danes, and other Germanic peoples, found each other in what would be two newer cities north of Jamsterdam and Sheoth. New Drenthe Province Jamsterdam and Sheoth unified as part of the autonomous New Drenthe Province. Belmont & Virmire Chatham Province The cities of Dawngate and Whytecliffe unify under Chatham Province. Kingdom Unified Emergence of City-States Yellowknife City-States Each of Pacardia's city-states have developed a theme of sorts, mainly due to their respective geography and the peoples who founded them. Each city-state has an urban, suburban, and rural region, and is ruled by a kaiser(in). Belmont IPA: /bɛɫmanʔ/ Kaiser: Aaron Dontez Yates Belmont is a city-state known for its gothic culture. Dawngate IPA: /dɑŋgeɪt/ Kaiser: Scott Mescudi A city-state heavily populated by grungers and hipsters. All buildings and roads have the common theme of circles, and holds the country's record for most one-way streets. Garvey Islands IPA: /gɑɚvi aɪlənz/ Kaiser: Ziggy Marley An archipelago of ten small tropical islands southwest of the mainland. Like Jamsterdam, but less urban. When viewed from above, the islands look to resemble the letters S, W, E, and D. Jamsterdam IPA: /dʒæmstɚdæm/ Kaiser: Paul Tokin A city-state that emulates the infrastructure of the Dutch capital, but in a tropical climate. Masyaf IPA: /məsaɪəf/ Kaiserin: Matthew Paul Miller A city-state with a Mediterranean climate and culture. Sheoth IPA: /ʃeɪoʊθ/ Kaiser: Maynard James Keenan A psychedelic city-state known for its outlandish plant life and psilocybin mushrooms. Virmire IPA: /vɚmaɪɚ/ Kaiser: Joel Zimmerman A relatively futuristic and technologically advanced city-state. Whytecliffe IPA: /waɪʔklɪf/ Kaiser: Damnagoras A medieval/renaissance style city-state. Yellowknife IPA: /jɛloʊnaɪf/ Kaiser: Anthony Bourdain A rather cold, snowy city-state on its own island northeast of the mainland. Winter sports such as hockey and bobsledding are commonly played. Government, Politics, and Law Pacardia is both a constitutional monarchy and a parliamentary republic. The current monarch is Patrick John-Luke Pacard, reigning under the title HRE (His Royal Epicness) King Patrick. The monarchy is largely just a symbolic practice, leaving the Pacardian Parliament in charge of most of the country's affairs. However, the Pacardi Dollar is backed by giant bricks of pure hash, and when inflation occurs, it is traditionally the duty of the current monarch to smoke it until the desired value of currency is achieved. Robert Marshall of the Progressive Party is the incumbent prime minister. The parliament operates under a two-party system. A multiparty system is present. The political parties in Parliament are as follows: Constitution Party Green Party Libertarian Party Progressive Party Socialist Party The rights granted in the Constitution of Pacardia show great respect for the liberties of the people. Freedom of expression is guaranteed to the fullest extent (with the practical exceptions of child pornography, bestiality, and what disturbs people physically and peoples' audible peace) and "Denying one of expression is prohibited", meaning that, for example, no one can be denied entrance to a movie based on age. In fact, no movies, music, video games, etc., are ever given a rating or age suggestion. Drug policy is relatively liberal. Cannabis is completely legal. Tobacco and alcohol are restricted to those 17 and older. Cocaine and morphine products are restricted to those 20 and older. Methamphetamine is illegal to manufacture and sell, but not necessarily posses and use. The government doesn't recognize any definition of marriage, for doing so would be a violation of separation and church and state Demographics Languages English is the official national language, spoken by almost every inhabitant. Pacardi English is the name of the rhotic dialect spoken by Pacardians. Five other tongues have recognized regional status. Dutch is spoken in Jamsterdam and Sheoth, Chathan in Dawngate and Whytecliffe, Pacardian in the Garvey Islands, Dromance in Belmont, and Portuguese in Masyaf. Religion Article V of the Constitution not only grants freedom of religion, but freedom to change religion, freedom from religion, and full separation of church and state. While much of the population is secular in practice, most Pacardians do hold some type of faith. Religious Belief 20% Neopagan (Asatru, Neo-druid, Wiccan) 20% Rastafarian 20% Secular (Agnostic, Atheist, Deist) 10% Buddhist 10% Hindu 10% Sikh 10% Orthodox Christian Culture Cannabis Throughout Pacardia's history the cannabis plant has played an important part in the country's culture and economy. Non-psychoactive hemp is used in paper, textiles, food, fuel, and many other products. THC-rich cannabis is frequently used recreationally, medicinally, and spiritually. Marijuana and hashish are sold in the island's numerous coffeeshops, most of which are in Jamsterdam. The chronic found in Pacardia is some of the stickiest, hairiest, and frostiest on Earth, an envy of the world. On the island nation can be found any strain ranging from Northern Goo to MK Ultra, in addition to a number of exclusive Pacardi strains, such as Fragrant Cane and Kaiser Kush. Food and Drink Popular foods within Pacardia include Belgian waffles, Buffalo chicken, casserole, Chicago dogs, chili dogs, clam chowder, corn, crab, eggs, ham, ice cream, lo mein, meatloaf, mostaccioli, onion rings, pizza, quesadillas, rum cake, shrimp, spaghetti, strawberries, and tomato soup. Apple cider/juice, beer, Coca-Cola, energy drinks, ginger ale, Gatorade, orange juice, rum, wine, and whole milk are widely consumed beverages. Music Alternative, electronic, folk, grunge, hip hop, indie, metal, reggae, and rock are all popular genres in the country. Of the bands Pacardia has spawned, BTP and Enso are the most notable. Popular music has changed throughout the years. Recent popular genres are as follows: 2007 folk, folk metal, power metal, progressive metal, reggae, symphonic metal 2008 alternative rock, indie rock, grunge, gothic metal, post-punk revival 2009 alternative metal, dance-punk, garage rock revival, indie folk, hip hop, house, neo-psychedelia, progressive rock, rap rock 2010 alternative hip hop, Latin hip hop, psychedelic pop, post-industrial, shoegaze, surf rock, trip hop Category: English-speaking nations Category: Island nations Category: Constitutional monarchies Category: Parliamentary republics Category:Pacardia